


No time for half measures

by carrionqueen (nightquill), nightquill



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Romance, Ruthless!Shepard, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-18
Updated: 2012-04-18
Packaged: 2017-11-03 21:08:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/385979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightquill/pseuds/carrionqueen, https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightquill/pseuds/nightquill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard doesn’t like anyone. It’s not that she’s misanthropic; it’s just that in the light of a Reaper invasion, there aren’t a lot of people who are worth her time. Love, however… Love she has time for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No time for half measures

Shepard doesn’t like anyone. It’s not that she’s misanthropic; it’s just that in the light of a Reaper invasion, there aren’t a lot of people who are worth her time. Love, however… Love she has time for. She loves the Normandy with a passion that’s just unfit for someone who’s not an engineer or a pilot. She loves the sleek curve, the graceful jut of her tailfins – even the splash of Cerberus-gold that’s staining her hull. She watches the ship far too often for someone with a galaxy to save. Leaning against the railing of the dock, she smiles as her eyes trace Normandy’s lettering. 

She loves Garrus, too. Not the same way she loves the Normandy – more. Lots more. She loves him like a comrade, like her favourite CQC trainer back at N-school. She loves him with her hips and her hands and her thighs and what’s between them. She loves his pebbled skin, the plating on his belly and back, the way his cold, blue eyes seem to catch fire when she’s naked, when she’s over him. She loves that he’s the only person in the Galaxy that could out-shoot her. Even then, it would be a close call. She loves the way he grabs her throat when they have angry sex in her shower. 

Surprisingly, she loves Zaeed Massani too. He’s old-school, a real warrior. He’s what space has always been about for Shepard – bad guys, big guns, bigger explosions. You can rely on a guy like Massani. Shepard loves it when her crewmates threaten mutiny. Gets her all warm and fuzzy inside, and Massani? She knows he’ll be the first to shoot her in the back of the head for a fistful of credits. Mercenary types are all the same. Reliably unreliable. She loves that she can count on him as long as the credits flow smoothly, and the fights flow smoother. She sort of loves Jessie, too. Any man who names his gun is alright in her books.

She loves Ash, still. Even though Ash is now a total bitch. Ash reminds her of a clean-cut Jack – who she doesn’t love, only pities. But Ash has been there from the start. Can’t fault a girl for her conviction. So when she looks Shepard in the eye and all but calls her a traitor, Shepard still keeps on loving. Because you really cannot fault that girl for her conviction. 

Liara T’soni wormed her way into Shepard’s heart but only recently. She never really gave two shits about the Asari, but when she read all those transcripts about Liara’s work recovering her body, and Feron, and then there was the Shadow Broker’s lair, and… Hell. Shepard hates loving people against her will. She hates Liara’s know-it-all tone, and when it wasn’t the know-it-all tone it was the holier-than-thou default Asari tone, which Shepard really did not have time for. She hates Liara’s childishness, the way her eyes are bluer than Garrus’, that her eyebrows look kind of drawn on but aren’t – she hates, above all things, that she’d do anything to keep Liara safe. She hates that she loves Liara like she’d love a damn sister. 

Shepard hates a lot of things. She hates dextro-amino based life forms, mostly because it means she’ll be devouring anti-allergenics for the rest of her damned life. She hates Hanar because she’s a racist. She hates shotguns and most of the Krogan – Wrex and Grunt aside, because they are two more things that she loves. She hates AI and VI and all damned synthetics with a passion. No reason. Just can’t trust anything without a heartbeat. She hates that sometimes when she’s in a firefight and she checks her six and Garrus, or Zaeed, or Grunt isn’t there – she hates that it’s fear that grips her gut. She hates that it’s fear of losing people. She hates that she even knows how to feel fear. Actually, come to think of it, she just hates fear. Period.

But most of the time she doesn’t dwell on hate. She does that ‘living in the moment’ thing that all heroes are supposed to do but most get bogged down with regret, or morality… Not Elisabeth Shepard. No way in hell is she ever getting bogged down in morality. She makes the tough calls, because no one else will. But she does wonder what’s going to happen when she has to choose between a friend and one of those tough calls. Sometimes she wishes she had time just to _like_ people, not love them like her damned heart tells her to.


End file.
